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DMB Fanwank

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Warehouse Chat Wank [Jul. 13th, 2005|07:52 pm]
DMB Fanwank

mis_mis_eree
[it doesn't have to be dmb. |Dave Matthews Band: Out of My Hands]

OKay so I AM only here to say that OOMH SUX it is just as bad if not worse than Mother Father and ANGEl those horrible songs it is the worst song on the WORST album ever you people would just lick the balls of any song that DMB EVEN WROTE.

IF YOULIKE IT YOU ARE GAY. I KNOW YOU ARE GAY YOU ARE SO GAY.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YUR A CHICK.

IF YOUR A CHICK ITS ALL THE CHICKS LIKE THAT FUCKING STUPID GAY ASS SONG.

I fucking HATE OOMH AND NO YOU CAN NOT SPEAK IF YOU LIKE OOMH CAUSE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY A FRAT BOY WHO IS 12 years OLD OMG DID YOU JOIN WAREHOUSE BECUZ YOU LUV STANDUP SO MUCH YOU DID DIDN"T YOU?

I'll bet you're in AMET or GAwiarjsd or the NANCIES community, aren't you?

UNLIKE YOU ALL I AM GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE I KNOW MORE THAN YOU.
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Now I will disrupt the chat by typing a lot of periods, interspersed with things like IF YOU LIKE OOMH YOU ARE GAY!

YOU ARE SO IMMATURE IF YOU LIKE OOMH YOU HAVE NO TASTE IN MUCIS.
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OMGWTFDAVE! [Jul. 13th, 2005|01:41 pm]
DMB Fanwank

tetetetigi
[are you emo? |bouncybouncy]
[it doesn't have to be dmb. |"party like you have an ass in your pants" -- ray]

OMG ppl! I'm, liek, 14 and I think Dave is soooooooooooooooo hot!!13123! liek, i wuz thinkin of gettin a dmb tatoo so that every1 knows that DAVE IS MY SEX GOD! (tee hee!) newayzzzz........ i wuz thinkin a firedancer symbol liek right above my butt so my parents wudnt find out coz theyd KIlL me bc OMG parents suck!!!LOLZ!!@!@@!#!#$#! but i think the firedancer is original and shit.... liek very few ppl wuld have one.... wut do u guysz think?

also, i saw pics of ashley... OMG why is dave with her (and not me, LOLZROTFLCOPTERS!@!@!!!!42. hes toooo seck-say for her LOLZ IM KIDDING!!!!@#$@!$!

k gotta run lemme know wut u all think of my tatooo thing!!!LOLERS!"

--k@t!3

----

(You know, I found journals from when I was 14. Rather embarrassing, they were. I spelled was "wuz" because I apparently thought it was cute. The nonsense stopped when I was 15 and decided that it would be cuter if I wrote like a literate person. In short, writing the above pained me a bit. I don't know how Jora writes those fake bad-fics without getting severely drunk first. - KT)
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(no subject) [Jul. 12th, 2005|12:56 pm]
DMB Fanwank

mis_mis_eree
Well, today I saw DMB for the five hundredth and ninety first time ever, and let me tell you, I am the biggest fan of all time. If you liked that show, you are seriously retarded, because I have been to every show they have ever done, and really, the show today sucked. I miss when they were not sell outs and they had real talent, and they didn't write songs that were so overtly sexual. Instead, they wrote songs that were really deep and not about sex at all, like Crash. Now they just sing lyrics like "See the pig dressed in his finest fine." Before they had real lyrics like "Were you a doggy on a chain, don't bite the mailman." Those lyrics were really deep, and awesome.

Dave has just lost something for me now. I don't think I'll ever respect them again.

Because I am the one true fan and if you don't agree with me it's only because you've only been a Dave fan since UTTAD came out, and that was when all the posers became fans. I've been a fan since January 9th, 1967. So here are some old pictures from before Dave was a sellout. Uncut because you shouldn't complain about seeing old Dave, if you do it's just because you don't like the sweater that he is wearing in every old picture of him. And also you love AIDS and you want everyone in Africa to die because you like Dave NOW and not Dave in 1991 when he still had talent.

Later loser posers,
The only Dave fan ever.
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I can do this, right? [Jul. 11th, 2005|01:14 pm]
DMB Fanwank

jorajo
I couldn't resist the wank. See the person in dancing_nancies who says that Say Goodbye and Rapunzel are more romantic, poetic, and "discrete but obvious" regarding sex than Hunger and Steady As We Go.

I responded. I just couldn't resist. Do my hands get slapped now?
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YOU'LL THANK ME WHEN YOU SHARE MY POLITICS! [Jul. 11th, 2005|12:45 am]
DMB Fanwank

tetetetigi
[Tags|, , , ]
[are you emo? |amusedamused]
[it doesn't have to be dmb. |I need no music.]

Thus Davewank embarks on the dawn of the day after one of the most Wankalicious days in DMB fandom.

Two days earlier, Dave Matthews Band played #34 for the first time in 12 years. To mark this monumental event, a certain wanker who previously had wanked about other lj-users' "copyright infringement" posted an mp3 of it on dancingnancies. This itself was not a problem -- there were mp3 links all over by this time. The wanker was rewarded with effusive praise from many members of the community and a tiny, friendly ribbing from the Mod based on earlier arguments. And just like the United States of America at a UN meeting, the wanker flipped out about being called out on his hypocrisy, took his ball and went home. The mp3 was replaced with a sad line about how the content was removed, and later the whole thing disappeared altogether.

The wank, however, had only just begun.

Turn to antsmarching. A certain wanker had been struggling to put up pictures for a day, but finally managed it. As happy as the comm was for this wanker, they would have been happier if the fifteen giant pictures of varying blurriness had been put under an lj-cut. Several requests later, the wanker insisted that this was beyond their lj-capabilities. One request from a comm-member declaimed that this sort of thing makes people want to leave the comm, so would the wanker kindly put the pics behind a cut? To which came the Wank-Avenger: "OMG ARE YOU JUST AFRAID TO LOOK BECAUSE THEY ARE LESBIANS????:

Yes, mighty Wank-Avenger, you have it. It's not the fact that there are a series large and blurry pictures on hundreds of friendspages. It's the blatant lesbianism! Grab the torches and pitchforks!

Well, after the comm-member responded to the Wank-Avenger with, "Are you kidding me? What kind of jackass do you think I am?" the Wanker returned with a question -- "Shall I be EMO or MEAN? -- You are a jackass -- and I don't know how to do LJ-cuts or change it." This, of course, after several patient emails from the mod which both linked to LJ FAQ and even detailed how one does it. The pic-poster instead claimed that she would take all her toys and leave. What remains of this? Merely a one-line post thanking all who "aided in that debacle."

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And the night finishes with yet another request for DMB tattoo help. A Firedancer, you say? HOW ORIGINAL! I WONDER WHY FIVE MILLION OTHER DMB FANS HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF THAT! If Dave Matthews were Voldemort, the Fire Dancer would be his Dark Mark. People, let's not make Dave into Voldemort. Besides, what happens when you gain weight? What happens to the slim, graceful firedancer then?
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